January 16, 2022
It's Saturday night and I'm buzzing a little bit. The team of my youth, the hometown Cincinnati Bengals are going to play in the AFC Championship game. I won't spill many words about the game. It was a defensive struggle that the Bengals won on a walk-off field goal. I thought I had excised the NFL and Cincinnati Bengals from being a meaningful part of my life. But then... well, Joe Burrow is a special human being.
I never played football as a kid. Well, I sort of did. Just not with other people. What sort of football can you play by yourself? You can kick and punt. I spent cool Saturday afternoons with a kicking tee and football, using our backyard swingset as makeshift uprights for kicking field goals. I taught myself how to punt a spiral. I remember the first time I punted a spiral while also making solid contact with ball and it rocketed off my foot in a way it never had before. It gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling.
As such, my favorite Bengals as a kid were the kicker and punter - Jim Breech and Lee Johnson. Jim Breech was an accurate by weak legged kicker who could make anything inside 40 yards, but didn't have the leg to make anything beyond 45 yards. These were the days before every NFL team had a kicker capable of making it from 55 on a semi-regular basis and you still saw the occasional barefooted kicker. For longer field goals, the Bengals would occasionally trot out Lee Johnson, who also handled kickoffs. Why wouldn't the Bengals just get a kicker with more leg or let Johnson handle both kicking and punting? In the case if the Bengals, it was a strange mix of admirable loyalty and nearly toxic antipathy toward change. Jim Breech last couple more seasons after the Bengals 1988 Super Bowl run. Lee Johnson's first season was that '88 team and then was forced to endure and excruciating decade as one of the most frequently used NFL punters. Eventually he got so fed up that he intentionally got himself cut by openly criticizing the team while speaking to the media postgame.
It's would be strange to say that I now have new sports heroes since I am older than every player on the roster of the current incarnation of the Bengals, as well as the head coach. (By the way, I was very skeptical of Zac Taylor, but way to prove me wrong.) I'm also deeply conflicted about the violence the NFL inflicts upon it's labor force and essentially discards them, except for the best of the best players. CTE hasn't really gotten any media attention the past couple years. I'm guessing because of the pandemic people were happy to see any sports, embracing the normalcy signaled by their return. But every game multiple players get injured. Usually at least on player per game suffers a season ending injury. On rare occasions, career endings. Much more often, head trauma that should be season or career ending, but they don't want to let go.
Anyway, three cheers for the hero of the day, Bengals kicker Evan McPherson. May the spirit of Jim Breech be with you always
/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/69258943/80047841.0.jpg)
I've already changed the channel to tennis, which is what I was supposed to write about all week, but sometimes events overtake the moment. Maybe next week.
For posterity:
Barty over Halep on the women's side. But I'm rooting hard for Anisimova. If she beats Barty and makes it to the semifinals or finals, get ready for lot think pieces and soft focus TV profiles about the 20 year old from New Jersey with a Russian heritage. If I spent just a little bit of time writing about tennis while I was watching this week, I could have banged out six or seven posts about women's tennis. It would almost be like I was a blogger or something.
On the men's side, Medvedev over ???. I'm going to go out on a limb and say Gael Monfils in a late career resurgence. Mostly because that would be the fun as hell final tennis needs to reinvigorate the men's game. Which means it's probably going to be Zverev. Nobody wants to watch Zverev.
The Djokovic thing was funny for about 12 hours before it became really, really annoying. I don't feel the need to address it any further than that when there is actual tennis to watch. Special shout out to French power bald Adrian Mannarino:
I didn't even have time to cover hurting my back while taking a shower. Getting old sucks.
The CBS SUNDAY MORNING POWER RANKINGS
This was a truly great episode of Sunday Morning and I truly regret not being able to write up the episode for nearly a full week later. I had many thoughts and feels while watching the episode. I think any one of six segments would have been a strong contender for the top spot in a less crowded week. I can only assume the quality of the recap will suffer due to the delayed write up and my attempt to try to sneak it in on a Saturday night deadline. Then again, maybe imposing the deadline will lead to fewer words and I'll finally achieve the pithy quality I've been searching for.
1) Jane Pauley
Jane's come out swinging in 2022. Here second host/segment double duty of year is also her second top ranking of the year. Even if it weren't for the double duty, the Liza Minnelli interview would have a strong chance of grabbing the top spot on it's own merits. I'd like to say it's because the interview was fabulously enlightening, which it was. But mostly it is because of Liza's turn as Lucile Austero on Arrested Development. How many times during the nine and half minute segment did I say, "Buster! How terribly grand!" to myself? Let's just say somewhere between more than once and enough.
Things I learned about Liza:
She's much younger than I thought. She would have been in the mid 50s when she played Lucile II. Since I knew enough about Liza to know that her heyday would have been in the 70s, I just assumed that she would have been at least 60 by the new millenium, but no, she was not even 20 when she started on her way to EGOT-land - a journey she might have completed by the time she was 25.
Also I had no Judy Garland's daughter! Maybe it was some piece of trivia that existed somewhere in the ether of my brain, but that's sort of crazy.
I'm not the biggest musical theater guy, but I've seen a live performance of Caberet and enjoyed it well enough. Enough to make me want to go back visit some of her EGOT winning performances? Dunno. Maybe someday. Clips from that TV special she won an Emmy for have an almost vaudevillian vibe to them, which I mean as a compliment.
2) Rita Braver
I personally do subscribe to theory that taking an existing object and simply recontextualizing it within the confines of an art gallery, makes it art. I guess that means I'm not a big fan of Marcel Duchamp. But I enjoy the debate I think. And Duchamp is not all toilets and combs.
I find "Nude on a Staircase" to be visually arresting. I can't be 100% sure there's any connection between the visual and the title - from the little bit I know of Duchamp the name could just be a salacious put on. Daring the viewer to see something that isn't really there. Although I do kind of feel I like can see sort of see if I start through it like one of those 3D "magic eye" images. Either way, unlike a lot of abstract art, it's a piece that doesn't feel overly esoteric to me. I sort of feel something on a gut level when I see it. I just don't feel that when I see Duchamp's "Comb". I get it, I think. It just does nothing for me.
Anyway, I feel like I've dinged Rita recently because she covered a number of third rail topics recently. Maybe I have greater appreciation for Braver bravely tacking the issues of our day and not just giving me soup tureens every week (not that I'd complain). But what can I say, I love a good art segment.
Dickerson reviews Joe Biden's first year in office insightfully and with a bit of humor to make it go down easier. To wit:
As Dickerson did what he does best - laying everything out in a calm collected way with a hint of wry humor sprinkled in - I nodded along and felt like things were gonna be OK. Because John Dickerson is America's Dad, laying out the facts of life, never snapping at us, but sometimes letting us know that he's disappointed with us - and that's when it hurts the most. No one wants to let John Dickerson down.
For what it's worth, I'm fairly sympathetic towards Biden. He is not the root cause of the issues facing the country or its economy nor does he have the power to fix it in most cases. But this is America. We want everything and we want it last week. If we don't get it, we complain to the manger - who I guess is Joe Biden in this case.
Maybe I'll quibble with how we withdrew from Afghanistan back in August/September, but I have the distinct impression that military advisors probably told him it would take 3-5 years to do it safely. Which is probably what they told Trump 3-5 years ago and Obama 3-5 years before that. So the fallout was always going to land on him and he was willing to take it. Also, somewhat predictably, but also somewhat sadly, no one even thinks about that anymore. If Republicans point to 7% inflation during the midterms, who the hell cares about Afghanistan? If inflation magically gets under control around summer time, get ready for it to be resurrected in attack ads.
Other than that, Biden is guilty of cardinal political sin of admitting to his limitations and mistakes. I'd say he committed the sin of overpromising, but every presidential candidate does that - Donald Trump first and foremost. He's just incapable of lying and saying he's accomplished things he actually hasn't when apparently America just wants George Constanza to be president.
4) David Pogue
Pogue goes seven and half minutes on people who live and breath vintage light bulbs. This is peak Sunday Morning. I'm not sure what if anything I can add besides segments like this are what make Sunday Morning unlike any other show on broadcast TV. I love that I watched seven and a half minutes about antique light bulbs. It's perfect length. I didn't know I wanted to watch it, and while watching it made me so happy, I don't really want to watch half hour or feature length film on light bulbs.
Looking at the vintage bulbs, they could be works of art. They seem to made by hand blown glass. If you ever been in a glass blowing studio, it's one of those things that sort of amazing to watch and you wonder who figure out how to do this sort of thing in the first place. And if you want to get all hot and bothered, they have almost sensual shape. The curves of a light bulb...
Was anyone else sort of rooting for the 135 year old Edison bulb they barely electrified to blow out spectacularly? I'm sure it would broken Chad Shapiro's heart, but it would have been great television.
5) Desert Snow
I hope the good citizens of Nevada will not be offended by what I'm about to say, so prepare to be offended.
What is the point of Nevada? It's barely habitable. I guess there are still valuable minerals to mine (at the expense of the barely habitable environment). We are probably going to spend billions of dollars in future (if we aren't already) providing basic necessities like water to those that live there as climate change worsens. It seems like the economy is dependent on legalized vice - gambling, prostitution, etc. Vegas was founded by mobsters, right? As an experiment, let's just go ahead legalize hard drugs as well to see if it has any affect on how Mexican drug cartels operate.
But then I saw that it can snow in northern Nevada. I didn't know desert snow was a thing. I'm starting to reevaluate my stance on Nevada.
Wow. Someday when somebody Hartman retires and someone has to put together a "Best of Steve Hartman" package, this segment has to be in it. An interracial love story renewed after fifty years only begins to scratch the surface of this two and half minute gem. The fact that I'm gushing over this segment and it didn't crack the top half of the rankings is merely an indication of how stacked this episode was. As in most Hartman stories, there is a telegraphed twist that comes with about a minute left. Only this time, it was not so telegraphed. I'm not sure if I'm just a romantic softie, or whether this Hartman piece played its sentimental cards closer to the vest than usually, but I almost lost it on this one. You should watch it. When Steve Watts speaks near the end of the segment, try and tell me that it doesn't get very dusty wherever you're watching it.
7) Luke Burbank
For those paying attention, Luke's interview with Kirsten Dunst got bumped last week so they could reair Lesley Stahl's interview with Sidney Poitier.
There have been a lot of recent celebrity interviews that have not involved Tracy Smith, the Sunday Morning doyenne of Hollywood. For whatever reason, I like to pretend this cause for some sort of behind the scenes Sunday Morning turf war. I know this isn't the case, but if anyone out there writing any Sunday Morning based fanfic, there's a free plotline for you.
Maybe it was Luke's interview to do because Kirsten (not Kristen as I often have to remind myself) is based in Austin, not Hollywood, with husband/The Power of the Dog co-star, and dare I say defining character actor of the millennial generation, Jesse Plemons. Jesse Plemons - if he starts doing comedy, he'll be the new John C. Reilly. For what's worth, Season 3 of Fargo in which they also appear together and where I believe they met has a lot going on and you can almost forget that Kirsten and Jesse are in it. They are good, but it's overshadowed by Season 2 being an all time TV viewing experience in my opinion.
This was a very good entry into the celebrity interview canon. Highlights:
Kirsten: I would have done anything for Jane [Campion]. She could have talked about this gray couch and I would have played the green pillow.
Luke: That's her next project.
Kirsten: (laughing) I know, exactly. I mean...
Luke: I read about it in variety.
and later...
Kirsten: You know it's interesting, I always felt this nice safety net going back to Spiderman.
Luke: So to speak.
Kirsten: (laughing) I didn't realize, like, how on the nose.
Luke Burbank ladies and gentlemen - keeping it deadpan hilarious.
Not entirely relevant here are my feeling about other Jane Campion projects. I may share them another time.
Eels are really, really weird and strange. And in so many more ways than the kind of creepy sea serpent kind of way. Did you know that no one has ever observed eels mating in the wild? Watch the segment if you want to know more. This is kind of segment that I tune in for. To learn everything I could ever want to know (and may not want to know) about eels. Conor doesn't really do jokes or pop culture, so the greatest eel related moment in cinematic history was left unreferenced. Possibly because actually eels do not eat people.
Part of me wants to reject the whole Jim Crow 2.0 label that's been thrown around. Yes, I very disagree with the regressive voting laws being passed by Republican majority states. And yes, while they cannot say it out loud, the goal is to discourage United States citizens from communities that predominantly vote Democratic from voting under the guise of preventing non-existent voter fraud. But it's a very rhetorically loaded way to put it that is bound to burn more bridges than build them. I feel like the next step is to compare it to Nazi Germany - the final destination of the unenlightened political mind.
On the other hand, maybe I should be so hesitant to call a spade a spade in the interest of "civility".
10) Martha Teichner
Martha did not appear, but no one got Teichernized to make room for her. Only 8 segments (not including the moment of nature) in the episode. Going against the advice of French director Michel Gondry, they went for quality over quantity. But, as everyone knows, there's always room for Martha.
Comments
Post a Comment