May 30, 2021
I thought Sunday Morning might start "reappropriating" stories this week, but it was all new. Maybe I should hold off until next week, but the tabulations are in. And I think 19 weeks is a healthy sample size. Represents approximately 1/3 of year of Sunday Mornings and probably about half of a season where all the content is "fresh".
CBS SUNDAY MORNING ANALYTICS
(A Sunday Morning points are basically handed out each time someone makes the rankings. 10 points for a #1, and 1 for #10. You can figure out the rest.)
Serena Altschul
Appearances: 1
Total Sunday Morning Points: 8
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 3
Scouting Report: We like Serena Altschul. I wish she got more segments. She appeared this week, so yay!
Jim Axelrod
Appearances: 5
Total Sunday Morning Points: 30
Weeks at #1: 1
Avg. Ranking: 5
Scouting Report: Axelrod seems like he'd be a button journalist in the "hard news" only mold, but he is quite versatile.
Charles M. Blow
Appearances: 1
Total Sunday Morning Points: 1
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 10
Scouting Report: Included one time for commentary. Appears again today. Commentary is tough position to make an impact.
Rita Braver
Appearances: 6
Total Sunday Morning Points: 33
Weeks at #1: 1
Avg. Ranking: 5.5
Scouting Report: Braver deservingly has a #1. We love Rita. As long she keeps appearing she'll get another.
Luke Burbank
Appearances: 3
Total Sunday Morning Points: 14
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 6.3
Scouting Report: A low volume year so far for Luke. The 6.3 average and lack of a #1 are not indicative of his talent level.
Nancy Cordes
Appearances: 1
Total Sunday Morning Points: 8
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 3
Scouting Report: Contributed one story about Tammy Duckworth. Small sample size.
Lee Cowan
Appearances: 10
Total Sunday Morning Points: 59
Weeks at #1: 1
Avg. Ranking: 5.1
Scouting Report: Cowan is a true volume shooter and vice captain of a deep squad.
John Dickerson
Appearances: 2
Total Sunday Morning Points: 17
Weeks at #1: 1
Avg. Ranking: 2.5
Scouting Report: Dickerson put up huge stats in limited appearances. Lets see if he can keep it up in a expanded role, now that he has found his true home at Sunday Morning.
Seth Doane
Appearances: 9
Total Sunday Morning Points: 47
Weeks at #1: 2
Avg. Ranking: 5.8
Scouting Report: Don't let the 5.8 average fool you. Doane is one of the rare few with 2 #1's. Living in Italy might be the Sunday Morning equivalent to performance enhancing drugs. An investigation has been launched.
Jim Gaffigan
Appearances: 5
Total Sunday Morning Points: 10
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 9
Scouting Report: It's hard to make an impact from the Commentary/Humor spot. Gaffigan shines brightest outside Sunday Morning. We're probably a year past his standout season last year where he helped us all get through the pandemic.
Major Garret
Appearances: 1
Total Sunday Morning Points: 9
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 2
Scouting Report: Just an outstanding name.
Nancy Giles
Appearances: 4
Total Sunday Morning Points: 31
Weeks at #1: 1
Avg. Ranking: 3.25
Scouting Report: Huge contributions as a role player. Leads the average category (minimum 3 appearances). Breakout performer this season.
Steve Hartman
Appearances: 14
Total Sunday Morning Points: 61
Weeks at #1: 2
Avg. Ranking: 6.6
Scouting Report: A second member of the double #1 club, Hartman plays a specialized position like goalie or catcher where the typical rules do not apply making it harder to quantify his important contributions.
Ramy Inocencio
Appearances: 1
Total Sunday Morning Points: 9
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 2
Scouting Report: Bats.
Connor Knighton
Appearances: 5
Total Sunday Morning Points: 33
Weeks at #1: 1
Avg. Ranking: 4.4
Scouting Report: Grabbing one, #1 Connor leads the team in the categories of hair, nature, and cute animals. Like fellow Ivy Leaguer Ryan Fitzpatrick, underestimate at your own peril.
Ted Koppel
Appearances: 3*
Total Sunday Morning Points: 20
Weeks at #1: 1
Avg. Ranking: 4.3
Scouting Report: *Koppel's cancel culture segment was stricken from the record. Other than that, we're lucky to have him around.
John LaPook
Appearances: 1
Total Sunday Morning Points: 3
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 8
Scouting Report: Don't take this wrong way, but the fewer times chief medical correspondent John LaPook appears, the better it probably is for all of us. (See 1 year ago...)
Ben Mankiewicz
Appearances: 2
Total Sunday Morning Points: 2
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 10
Scouting Report: Nothing against the grandson of Mank. He just hasn't clicked with the committee.
David Martin
Appearances: 2
Total Sunday Morning Points: 5
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 8.5
Scouting Report: The best voice in town.
Anthony Mason
Appearances: 2
Total Sunday Morning Points: 9
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 6.5
Scouting Report: If you're in the mood for music, you're in the mood for Anthony "Not the one who played for the Knicks" Mason.
Michelle Miller
Appearances: 3
Total Sunday Morning Points: 20
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 4.3
Scouting Report: The queen of the reaction shot will get a #1 someday if the offense can more shots for her.
Erin Moriarty
Appearances: 3
Total Sunday Morning Points: 20
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 4.3
Scouting Report: Identical numbers as Miller, but fills a very different role.
Norah O'Donnell
Appearances: 1
Total Sunday Morning Points: 4
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 7
Scouting Report: Catch Norah on the CBS Evening News.
Elizabeth Palmer
Appearances: 1
Total Sunday Morning Points: 4
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 7
Scouting Report:Faberge eggs.
Jane Pauley
Appearances: 13
Total Sunday Morning Points: 85
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 4.5
Scouting Report: As host, Jane is the far and away points leader despite never getting #1. An egregious oversight that should be rectified. Somehow she does not lead in appearances.
Dana Perino
Appearances: 1
Total Sunday Morning Points: 1
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 10
Scouting Report: Dad.
Mark Phillips
Appearances: 3
Total Sunday Morning Points: 15
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 6
Scouting Report: The Britain correspondent has the second best voice on the squad. One story stricken from the record because I got tired of hearing about the royals.
David Pogue
Appearances: 14
Total Sunday Morning Points: 66
Weeks at #1: 2
Avg. Ranking: 6.3
Scouting Report: Showing up in a whopping 14 out of 19 rankings (more than Pauley), and taking two #1s, he's first in appearances and second in points. No one ever accused Pogue of not taking his shot.
Chip Reid
Appearances: 2
Total Sunday Morning Points: 15
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 3.5
Scouting Report: Sneakily solid contributer in a limited role. With more appearances, Chip could easily snag a #1.
Mo Rocca
Appearances: 9
Total Sunday Morning Points: 62
Weeks at #1: 1
Avg. Ranking: 4.1
Scouting Report: Always colorful and entertaining, Mo's 4.1 average shows consistency, despite being high volume.
Faith Salie
Appearances: 3
Total Sunday Morning Points: 2.3
Weeks at #1: 1
Avg. Ranking: 26
Scouting Report: Ranking may be skewed by the committee's love of Andrew WK and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.
Kelefa Sanneh
Appearances: 4
Total Sunday Morning Points: 22
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 5.5
Scouting Report: The numbers fail to capture Kelefa's impact on the team.
David Sedaris
Appearances: 1
Total Sunday Morning Points: 2
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 9
Scouting Report: One humor segment stricken from the record. The committee recognizes Mr. Sedaris's talent but is not sure it translates to TV/Sunday Morning.
Josh Seftel
Appearances: 2
Total Sunday Morning Points: 4
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 9
Scouting Report: Florida mom.
Tracy Smith
Appearances: 12
Total Sunday Morning Points: 65
Weeks at #1: 1
Avg. Ranking: 5.6
Scouting Report: Third in both points and appearances, Tracy Smith has a lane and does it as few others could.
Susan Spencer
Appearances: 4
Total Sunday Morning Points: 20
Weeks at #1: 1
Avg. Ranking: 6
Scouting Report: Maybe the biggest surprise. Often ranked too low because stories are medical in nature and the committee is squeamish.
Leslie Stahl
Appearances: 2
Total Sunday Morning Points: 10
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 6
Scouting Report: Back to back appearances and then nothing. We'll always have the Marty Baron segment.
Martha Stewart
Appearances: 2
Total Sunday Morning Points: 3
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 9.5
Scouting Report: Talks softly and carries a big knife.
Martha Teichner
Appearances: 17
Total Sunday Morning Points: 59
Weeks at #1: 2
Avg. Ranking: 7.5
Scouting Report: Martha defies objective evaluation.
Nicholas Thompson
Appearances: 1
Total Sunday Morning Points: 5
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 6
Scouting Report: CEO of The Atlantic.
Ben Tracy
Appearances: 2
Total Sunday Morning Points: 3
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 9.5
Scouting Report: Contributes without needing to start every game.
John Wertheim
Appearances: 1
Total Sunday Morning Points: 1
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 10
Scouting Report: Not even on the team, but we're trying to work out a trade.
Mark Whitaker
Appearances: 2
Total Sunday Morning Points: 13
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 4.5
Scouting Report: Solid and dependable.
Holly Williams
Appearances: 3
Total Sunday Morning Points: 23
Weeks at #1: 0
Avg. Ranking: 3.3
Scouting Report: Ranking possibly skewed by Australian accent.
The CBS SUNDAY MORNING POWER RANKINGS
1) David Martin
David Martin's straightforward, no-nonsense delivery makes him perfect for covering the military. He was practically born to narrate a World War II documentary. It's kind of fun to imagine him as a 12 year old talking about the battle of Midway. In terms of gravitas, he is only matched by Teichner. (In order to fully demonstrate there is nothing she cannot do, I'd be up for a Teichner doing a segment on the military.)
Anyway, it's the Memorial Day episode, so with the #1 spot we salute David Martin, his voice, and the military who have served both past and present.
When David Brokaw came up with idea of the "The Greatest Generation", he must have had Woody Williams in his mind or any of thousands of other people like him. Men and women who truly sacrificed, and in the case of Woody continue to do so.
It's strange to think that in a few years, there will be no more living World War II veterans. WWII seems relegated to ancient history for my generation, but the truth is that my birth is approximately equidistant from the present day and the end of WWII, so it only predates me by approximately 1 me. It is the defining event of the 20th Century. What we think of as the modern world, technologically and politically, is essentially rooted in WWII and its aftermath. The United States as we know it, global superpower, for better or worse, essentially came into being because of World War II.
The phrase "Thank you for your service," has always seemed trite to me. Something people who have not served in the military say to check a box. I don't know many people who have or currently served the country in the military, but I know some. I'm not sure if they appreciate those words or just find it awkward. I'm not saying this because I don't think people should say it, only because when I try to put myself in those shoes, I think it would be awkward - I don't take complements well and I shrink from the spotlight. I don't like being noticed. I wonder if veterans that do find it awkward just learn to shrug it off after awhile. I'm not sure the words mean much coming from a random stranger. Maybe if they came from someone I knew and loved, but then they probably wouldn't have to say the words out loud.
Our military isn't perfect and it makes me bristle when people want to pretend that it is infallible. But that's not what Memorial Day is about, so it is an argument for another time if you want to have. My hope this Memorial is that all veterans and their families, living and deceased, feel love and appreciation, whether it's from hearing those words or in some other way. Woody Williams made this mission his second life's work. As if he had not already given enough.
Four years ago, I went for pizza on Memorial and there was a veteran
there eating alone. I didn't want to bother him, but I wanted to show
him my appreciation in some way, so I had worked it out in my mind that I'd quietly pay for his meal. Someone else had the same idea and beat me too it naturally.
I love anachronisms and I love geography. For a time, I was convinced I was Tom Hanks and needed a typewriter because I loved click-clack soundtrack it provided to writing. I remember there being a random typewriter sitting around our house as a kid. It probably got thrown out at some point. The things we don't think to hang on to.
After my grandmother passed, I laid claim to my grandparents old hi-fi and fixed it up so that it would play records again. It doesn't have particularly good sound or anything, but it's a little piece of family history.
I remember going on vacations as a kid and following along on a map. My grandparents had AAA and on occasions I traveled with them, the fold out map was replaced by the AAA triptik. I wonder if they still make those. I'm sure they were all thrown away after the trip, but if any still sat around, I'd have them as keepsakes.
They are not just mementos from a trip, but a snapshot of a world that used to exist. Certain roads are no longer there. There was a certain excitement, when a road that didn't previously exist on a map would show up unannounced. Sometimes a road would show up as under construction. A new road was being built, but not was it completed? How old was the map? Do you think the road is ready? It it's finished, it cuts an hour off the trip. Should we roll the dice? These are conversations we used to have.
Really, the interstate started to kill off the map before GPS. It's kind of hard to get lost if you are loosely acquainted with the interstate system. But sometimes there was construction or detours and a map would need to be consulted. I remember one time my brother helped my Dad navigate around a traffic jam using a map and since I wanted to be my brother growing up, on subsequent trips I would ask my Dad if he needed someone to navigate. The answer was usually no, but I following along the map anyway. Checking the distance to the next exit or rest stop - we were a big rest stop family. I miss looking for those symbols on a map and making the decision do we stop at this one or the next.
Martha did a great segment on the art of making globes in 2017. I decided then that I needed a designer globe as a geography enthusiast. I had one as a kid, but it was thrown away or given away a long time ago. If it was still around, I could probably date when it was manufactured by what countries are on the globe - pretty sure the USSR still existed. Anyway, I never did buy a globe, so maybe a collection of maps is a cheaper alternative.
Regarding Rand McNally:
3) Lee Cowan
Another geography segment! My cup floweth over! The center of North America is near Center, North Dakota. With all do respect to the other claimants, Rugby and Robinson. It's actually a fairly simple integral calculus problem. Ok, maybe not simple. Because as the professor points out, you have to account for the curvature of the Earth. No Flat Earthers allowed. That means you, Kyrie. So we can't just balance a Mercator projection of North America on a pin. Maybe a Robinson projection does slightly better. If the earth were a perfect sphere, it would be a moderate integral calculus problem. But the Earth is an obalte spheroid. I.e. it's a slightly fatter at the equator because the rotation of the earth acts as a centrifuge, throwing matter a little further from the center where the speed due to rotation is the highest - the equator. So throwing in this condition, it is now a hard integral calculus problem. But still the algorithm Professor Rogerson of Buffalo used to come up with Center, North Dakota is probably not super complicated.
However as a physicist, everything is assumed to be a sphere, so I wonder how far away from Center you get if you just assumed a perfect sphere. I call this the "spherical cow" center of North America. It's a physics joke.
4) Faith Salie
As a (former) physicist, I have a strange resentment of physicists that gain moderate traction in popular culture. That means you Brian Greene. That means you Neil deGrasse Tyson. You try to make physics sound fun and accessible. Stop pretending it's not hard and messy! Also string theory, Dr. Greene's life's work, largely fails to yield testable predictions, so what good is it?
Sorry for that short rant. For what it's worth, I do like Brian May astrophysicist/guitarist for Queen. Probably because he got famous and then became an astrophysicist.
I used to teach intro algebra based physics class, mostly geared towards biology majors. My favorite subject to teach was relativity and time dialation. Brian Green stole my line. We already know how to travel to the future. We are all doing it all the time. If you want to start traveling into the future faster than others, get in a vehicle and start going as close to the speed of light as possible. This is the plot of the movie Planet of the Apes. The relativity question on the final always had to do with Planet of the Apes. The science in the original is actually not bad. Traveling backwards in time, is much harder. Hand wavy methods of doing so are address in the films Primer and Tenet, the latter of which is so confusing it kind of makes you not even want to bother. But probably the real way to travel back in time is through and Einstein-Rosen bridge, i.e. a wormhole as featured in the classic YA book A Wrinkle in Time and the 2006 Denzel Washington vehicle Déjà Vu. You know who was a consultant on Déjà Vu? Brian Greene! Aaargh! I'd like to say the movie was bad, but I recall kind of liking it. Decent popcorn flick. Also 2 weeks in a row Déjà Vu made the list.
5) Yosemite / Tom Harris (tie)
You know that thing where a waterfall looks like it is slow motion from far away because all you can see is the outer droplets, which are falling at a much slower rate than the powerful flow of water in the middle because they are more susceptible to wind resistance? It's a cool effect.
Tom Harris is a writer, retiring from Sunday Morning. He's done it a lot longer than I have. Solidarity.
Big fan of Serena Altschul, who makes only her second appearance of 2021. The first time we caught her on the slopes discussing avalanches. The segment itself is not really up my alley, but #6 goes to Serena in the hopes that she'll show up more often in the future.
If I had any sense of design or a desire to spruce up my house, I'd be inclined hit up yard sales or vintage stores. But I'm a dude, so this ranks pretty far down my list. I have enough pseudo-furniture as it is though and I'm not sure I'd be interested in something purely for the sake of it be old. A personal attachment helps.
Random aside on the name Serena. The most famous Serena in the world is unquestionably Serena Williams. She is a one name person. If someone says Serena, who else could they be talking about. I'm kind of stealing the "Reggie Cleveland" All-Stars bit from Bill Simmons, wherein there is disconnect between the assumed and actual race/ethnicity of an individual due to their name. The point is that I'm pretty sure Serena used to be White name, but now it is somewhat jarring when a white woman has the name Serena because they aren't Serena (no last name). Either way, it's very nice name.
7) Rita Braver
Lovely Rita interviews the Bob and Elizabeth Dole. Bob is the 2nd WWII featured in the episode. I never realized that Bob Dole had limited use of right arm. I mean everyone knew John McCain could raise is arms above his head, but I never put 2 and 2 together with Dole's pen holding thing. Bob Dole is 98, which is crazy until you remember he lost the 1996 presidential election 20 year after Jimmy Carter was elected president and Jimmy Carter is still with us somehow, 40 years after leaving the white house. I'm going to refrain from show the weird photo of Biden with the 96 year old Carter. Instead, lets salute another member of the "Greatest Generation", a good man, Bob Dole. Lets remember a time when politics were civil. Politically, most of me probably falls on the other side of the street, but I still admire the man.
Anyway I can't stay serious for long, so here's Bob Dole from The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror VII episode:
Also, here's that Super Bowl commercial. It's a cheap laugh, but it does recall a time when people weren't so self important and willing to make fun of themselves. At some point, people became curated brands.
8) Charles M. Blow / Steve Hartman (tie)
Steve usually does something special for Memorial. I already linked earlier to his 2018 about a 20 year old that was trying to interview as many WWII vets as he could. This year is taps across America Mark II. I didn't want to relegate a Memorial Day segment to #10. I really want to talk more about Mr. Blow's commentary.
Charles M. Blow is one of many people to discuss the 100th Anniversary of the Tulsa Race Massacre. There are still 3 living survivors of the massacre. They were never compensated for the loss of their family's possessions, homes, lives, etc. I think I heard about the massacre for the first time 2 or 3 years ago, I don't remember where. It was definitely prior seeing it depicted in HBO's excellent Watchmen series. Last year its retelling gained traction in the aftermath of George Floyd's murder. I just know I certainly did not hear about it in school. My school was all white, which sounds weird to say, but is a sign of how segregated the country was recently and still is today. There was black history month in social studies, but we always focused on Black Excellence. A lot of George Washington Carver, a little Frederick Douglass, Martin Luther King, and a sprinkling of Sojourner Truth and Harriet Tubman. Living by the Ohio river, there are actually houses on the river you can go with hidden underground compartments because they were part of the underground railroad. I always took pride in knowing that about by hometown. It's causes my blood to boil a bit at the sight of a Confederate flag.
However...
The problem with reducing Black History Month to Black Excellence and only ever looking at the positive. It lures us into thinking the problem is fixed and we ignore all kinds of events from 1865-1960 like the Tulsa Race Massacre. Read up on a few others while your at it. I did hear about Rosewood in high school - we watched the movie. I kind of wish we had gotten a list of the two or three dozen other comparable incidents. I knew there was lynchings and racism. But only recently have I really learned how downplayed it is. The inclination to forget is understandable. We don't like to admit when we are wrong or less than perfect, so we try to ignor that oppression of people of color did not end with the Civil War. As Ellie Kemper has unfortunately found out this week, white folk have some explaining to do, and just maybe some reparations to pay out.
9) Tracy Smith
Tracy interviews Rich Little. It skews a little old. There are lots of good impressionists out there. I find Melissa Villasenor and underutilized and underrated cast member of SNL. Bill Hader was always more than impressions, but when he did them, they were incredible. All of which to say is that through most of the Tracy's segment, I was thinking of more contemporary impressionists that I am more familiar with. Not that I don't know who Rich Little is.
I also thought about an infamous story about Johnny Carson, one of Rich's best impressions, where he was sleeping with the significant other of someone affiliated with the Mafia and he had to escape in his underwear and have is driver surreptitiously pick him up. I might have made that up, but it also might be true. I'd honestly be more interested in hearing Rich tell stories about the days when Hollywood had fixers. I think it's ok. The statute of limitations has passed.
A couple years ago Mo Rocca did a Mobituary on Vaughn Meter, another impressionist from another era, with a compelling story. I miss Mobituaries, I don't know if it ended because of the pandemic or if the ultimate goal was just to do enough for the book, but I would be happy if a third season magically appeared. Speaking of which...
10) Mo Rocca
I do really like Mo and I'll always point out that last is not really least when it comes to the Sunday Morning power rankings. Almost every segment is great, but once stacked up against other segments, decisions must be made. I think I disagree with premise that the Oculus can act as even a simulacrum of a trip or real world interaction with another human. Is it really more personal than Zoom? Even so, that's a low bar.
The segment did contain a 2nd reference to Rand McNally, where hamburgers eat people.
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