April 4, 2021

This week was Easter Sunday and days surrounding a weekend were a bit of a mini spring break for the power rankings committee, so apologies ahead of time for this being somewhat of a tardy, yet perfunctory entry. Sadly, I don't have much to offer in the way of blathering or pontification this week, so if that's what you tune for, sorry to disappoint. If my meandering musings are not your cup of tea:

Sorry, The Ballad of Weaves #53: Part 3 is bumped yet again. It has officially turned into the running Matt Damon gag of this blog. Next weekend, I promise I'll have time to finish the story (if anyone cares...)

The CBS SUNDAY MORNING POWER RANKINGS!

1) Tracy Smith

Did we jump the gun by putting Tracy at #2 last week? Call it weakness if you want, but you try and resist when someone favorably compares your writing to F. Scott Fitzgerald, even jokingly. We'll give anyone a one week bump for flattery. But you've got to earn the top spot and there is no question that Tracy was queen of the show this week playing both host and interviewing Hunter Biden in the headlining segment.

On hosting: It's CBS Sunday Morning with Jane Pauley. No one replaces Jane, but sometimes a fill in is needed. I don't know if there is a hierarchy of substitute hosts at Sunday Morning, but one criterion seems to be that deference is given to whomever is presenting a headlining segment. Cowan seems to fill in the most - he guest hosted a streak from the black void after the pandemic hit and CBS was still figuring out how to make the show go on. (Lots of Jill Schlesinger and John LaPook.) But Cowan he had no story this week after defecting to Paramount+ the previous week. I've also seen Teichner and Rocca fill in and ditto for them this Easter Sunday. I may be wrong (always likely) but I don't recall Tracy hosting before. Regardless of whether it was her first time, it was a home run. The host has to switch between welcoming, gravitas, and lighthearted from segment to segment. Some do it better than others. I won't say that Tracy copies Jane because everyone has their own style, but there was a seamlessness to Tracy taking over host duties. Kudos.

On Hunter Biden: Hunter Biden is an addict. It seems to be a recent recurring them in Tracy Smith segments, so let's just hope that nothing salacious comes out about Leslie Odom Jr. any time soon. If Hunter Biden were an actor and not a political football, we'd snarkily designate him "a mess" as paparazzi follow him around. Addiction is a medical issue and I generally feel that medical issues are a person's private business, so I'm not exactly all about airing such them publicly in a memoir. I'll concede there is a decided benefit to talking about it frankly, to bring the issue out of the shadows so that others feel comfortable coming forward for help. But fairly or unfairly, part of me reacts by saying why should Hunter Biden be that person to speak about it. What makes him so special over the hundreds of thousands of people addiction affects? Their stories are equally worthy of sharing. He just happens to come from a certain privilege so that his addiction was largely not treated criminally as happens to often to people of lesser means.

The interview is somewhat a surprising turn in deviating from Smith's standard "celebrity interview". She asks tough questions, most of which could be simply reframed, "What were you thinking?" Assuming that Hunter Biden has been sober, it's not just a legitimate question - it's the question. Anyone half aware of knew the Trump campaign and GOP were cynically going to pull that thread. But those in glass houses... I don't want to judge, but why exactly was he on the board at Burisma? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also, Hunter, I'm not a PR guy, but don't say, "I'm being as honest with you as I possibly can." The implication in that final clause is that there is some dishonesty or omission due to a mitigating factor. A half truth is about the same as a lie sometimes. Do or do not. There is no try.

2) Connor Knighton

My main complaint, although it's hard to complain about Sunday Morning, is that the show did not really lean into the Easter holiday all that much. More was made of the vernal equinox. This story, Tracy's pink outfit, and the Hartman segment were the main nods towards the holiday/Christian feast. Granted, the show is secular, so I'm not expecting a meaningful religious reflection on Easter, but I don't think even the  Sunday Morning Index interstitial touched on it much. The following ran on twitter. If it appeared in the actually show, I must have already forgotten or skipped over it, which is a shame.

Connor gets another high ranking for no reason other than bunnies, bunnies, and more bunnies. As a little kid, rabbits were my favorite animal. I wanted one as a pet, but I did not grow up in an animal household. Here are just a few of the best bunnies from the segment.

Maizie:


Ruth Bunner Ginsburg (a great bunny name):


Unnamed, though equally cute, other rabbits:

I love you all. Also Connor tops the COVID hair power rankings per usual. I'm taking suggestions for the name of the indie rock group that Connor will be fronting later this year. I hear their debut album is called Island Hopping.

3) Lesley Stahl

Leslie Stahl inteviews the retiring Marty Baron. A couple things of note: 

  • If you've ever listened to anyone in the newspaper industry talk about Marty Baron, it is always with extremely reverential tones. He may just be the last great newspaperman, but lets hope not.
  • The segment reinforces how great a job Liev Schreiber did in Spotlight. Ruffalo got the supporting actor nod, but if we had to do it again, shouldn't it have been Schreiber. People are suckers for a showy monologue. It's not Jason Robards playing Ben Bradlee in All the Presidents Men, but nothing is and Marty Baron would probably not court a comparison to Bradlee.
  • Jeff Bezos is a man that controls something like 60%* of the global economy and somehow thinks than leaning into looking more like Lex Luthor is a good idea. I'm not saying that bald isn't beautiful. I do have problems with some (many) of his business practices unrelated to the Washington Post. Some will say it's just progress, but it's hard to stifle an involuntary flinch whenever he is on TV. I'm sure it's more fun to work for his paper than it is to work for Amazon.

* Statistic may not be factual.

Stahl, a 60 Minutes interloper on Sunday Morning (but we're all friends here), gets the 3 spot largely for making this face on camera after jokingly suggesting the business strategy of the future for papers is to find a sugar daddy:


Good one Stahl.

4) Michelle Miller 

Michelle Miller interviews Nashville Predators National Anthemer Carrie Underwood, who perpetually seems on the edge of tears in every interview she gives. Maybe she just feels more deeply than the rest of us. This interview does in fact end with a good cry. Honestly, we could all use one during COVID times.

Michelle rises in rankings whilst staking her claim to the CBS Sunday Morning face making throne. In the game of face making thrones, you either win:


Carrie Underwood's husband said something sweet and Michelle Miller melts.
 
Or you... well you don't die. You still win. We're all winners here. We've all heard it said that the key to acting is reacting. If this is the case, give Michelle gets an Oscar.
 
 
250 species of birds in a Montana park? Well, the Everglades has over 360 species. (Yep, I'm plugging Audubon Florida again!) If Captain Vasily Borodin had been watching CBS Sunday Morning this week... he would have seen Montana.

6) Susan Spencer

Conflict resolution has a remarkably similar ring to it as Risk Management which kind of sent me down a Seinfeld rabbit hole while reviewing this segment to write it up. I did think the segment was quite interesting, but often a thing happens when a segment introduces a lot of experts to tackle a subject from different angles (good conflict, conflict in space, difficult conversations) but all of them sort of fade away because the story maybe ends up being about something smaller than the big picture.

In this case, Billy Moore is the small story that dominates the bigger picture the segment attempts to stitch together. Billy Moore murdered Benji Wilson in 1984, which is obviously tragic to the point that I don't really have to make that point. But for as messed up as the US prison system is, it does give me hope to know that someone like Billy Moore, who, despite having done something terrible, still tries to make the world a better place. The murder will always be a part of him and his story, but so few people are actually their worst actions, or worst moments. I have to believe that redemption is possible for all.

It was only mentioned in passing, but the detail that Billy Moore was forgiven by Benji's surviving family is another positive note in the restorative justice sense. As the trite saying goes, an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind.

Stories like Billy Moore's and Ted Koppel's semi-regular dives into the criminal justice system make me reflect on if there is anything I can do to help those who are incarcerated or entangled in the criminal justice system have positive outcomes.

7) Elizabeth Palmer

I am not familiar with the oeuvre of Ms. Palmer but a medium dive into Faberge eggs is good Easter fun. Normally putting a Simpsons clip into your segment is an automatic top 3 baller move, but Ms. Palmer chose the wrong clip. Here's the correct one:

Harsh, but if you are going to pander to Simpson's fans, please keep in mind we are Legion and we are obsessive.

8) Seth Doane

Seth takes us back to Rome to look music created under the patronage of the Medici's. Music may not be so young, but when did we start writing it down much less recording it? Do we really know what it sounded like prior to the 1700s? I guess we were writing it down in the 1600s and 1500s, but maybe not much survives? Anyway, the choral pieces performed are quite pretty, especially sung in a church where the reverb is turned up to 11. For a minute, I thought I needed a CD of this kind of music to help me meditate and relax. And then it hits me that I do not really do either of those things. Maybe someday.

9) Steve Hartman

For Easter, Hartman serves up a water pistol filled with holy water and Laverne Wimberly's hats. Fr. Pelk's got a great mustache and Ms. Wimberly ain't afraid of being outed as 82 years old, but these wonderful tidbits aside, the Hartman formula is a heartwarming story with a not so surprising twist. This was more of reflection on worship during COVID times so we were deprived of the not surpring twist.

10) Martha Teichner

NIH director Dr. Francis Collins gives a short commentary framing the COVID vaccine as an Easter miracle. (Not the Easter miracle. Merely an Easter miracle.) And the speed at which the vaccine was delivered was miraculous. But, like everything else, it has become stupidly politicized. Lest we start some science vs. religion debate (both as Dr. Collins says) or get in a fight with an anit-vaxxer, the spot goes to something we can all agree on. The Teich! (I'm trying to start a thing.)

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