February 14, 2021

Whether or not this recap gets posted tonight or Monday depends entirely on the Australian Open 4th round. I'm trying to follow Jessica Pegula v. Elina Svitolina, Jen Brady (and Jen Brady's forehand (TM)) v. Donna Vekic, and Daniil Medvedev vs. Mackenzie "Mackie" McDonald (a real name). Also, Coco Gauff and Caty McNally are playing a 3rd round doubles match. It is a distinct possibility that the recap gets pushed to Monday for a second straight week due to sports. At least this time, it would be for a sport I'm genuinely interested in.

I'm also keeping an eye on my window to see if the snow starts to fall - 7+ inches expected over the next 36 hours. For people that don't like winter weather: 

1) What is wrong with you? Snow is great.

2) Feel free to personally blame me after I complained that climate change is making these types of weather events less common.

1. Jim Axelrod

Forgive me ahead of time, this is going to go long. Axelrod for the win, but this is all about my personal relationship to the content of the segment.

"You knew that you didn't want your life to be defined by the worst thing that ever happened to you."

10 years ago, Suleika Jaouad had a 1 in 3 shot of surviving leukemia. 10 years ago, I had a seizure while playing soccer then a few days later, surgery to remove a brain tumor, maybe the size of walnut or a little bigger. (I don't know exactly how big, that's the rough impression I get from look at the MRI results.) The biopsy said it was an oligodendroglioma. If your dumb enough to look something like that online, it'll say that the prognosis for someone with this type of cancer is a 15 year life expectancy. It's slow growing and not very compared to other types of brain cancer. I've learned that you don't want to have something that ends in -blastoma. Blast is not a pleasant word when comes to cancer.

I think the kind of cancer I had is considered borderline-malignant. Since it does not grow fast, it is hard to spread, but it can. Truth be told, I don't still don't quite understand the deliniation between benign and malignant tumors. My understanding is that a "benign" tumor can still be fatal. Espcially in the brain.

Because my particular brand of cancer there was no follow up treatment after the surgery. There was no chemo, there was no radiation. Chemo works by killing fast cells that grow faster than they are supposed to. It was a slow growing tumor so... Radiation treatments could be used to try to anything that the surgery didn't get. But it's hard to tell what, if anything was left behind. So you can do it and not be sure if you've actually accomplished anything. Or you can wait and watch if anything starts growing again. And so I watch and wait. For 10 years, I've watched and waited. And that is the plan for the foreseeable future.

I tell almost no one about this, because you don't want your life to be defined by the worst thing that ever happened to you. Maybe after a few drinks, after we've been friends a while, I'll open up about this. Or to random people on the internet, because nobody is actually reading this, right?

My cancer was very different from that of Suleika Jaouad. Her prognosis was much worse. She got the full "C". Chemo, a port, hair loss, nausea, etc. and the treatments lasted years from what I understand. But cancer is not a pissing contest about who suffered more. At least it shouldn't be. I had the brain surgery and had only minor complications following up. (Dilantin is not a good drug. If you need anti-seizure medication, get yourself some of that Keppra.) Not that brain surgery was a walk in the park. Some things I remember from after the surgery:

• When I came to after surgery, I was essentially paralyzed from the waste down. I could not feel my feet (or at least my left foot) or move my legs. The surgeon seemed untroubled by this, insisting it would come back quickly. It did in fact come back start to come back within a day or two.
• I tried to make a joke to show everyone I was good spirits. When the doctor asked how I felt, I responded, "I feel turquoise." It did not get the laughs I was hoping for.
• I remember the persistent headache being awful but manageable (drugs). I don't have migraines, but my impression is that essentially I had a week long migraine. How people who suffer from migraines manage to persevere is beyond me.
• I had to be on IV anti-seizure medication after the surgery, because I was too nauseous to keep food or pills down for 2-3 after the surgery. The pH of this medication was 4. I essentially had Coca-Cola injected every 6 or 8 hours. Eventually a vein collapsed. I remember there being tears of pain as the nurse unsuccessfully tried to find a place to start a new IV. I have a history of having vasovagal reactions when being stuck with needles or undergoing other minor procedures. I didn't like needs or IVs then and I don't like them today.
• I remember friends, family, and loved one coming to visit. Staying with me in the ICU. I specifically remember watching Cliff Lee and Cliff Lee's curve ball pitch the Texas Rangers past the New York Yankees in a playoff game. Watching that game was probably what I enjoyed most that week. It was something close to normal. Cliff Lee was probably my favorite pitcher for the next year. I rooted for the Rangers to win the World Series, but they lost to Tim "Big Time Timmy Jim" Lincecum and the San Francisco Giants.

Despite all this, I always feel like I got off easy. Six months after surgery I was mostly back to normal. I have some permanent lost of dexterity in my left hand, but I could type and play guitar just as well as I could before the surgery (which is not very well). I probably had/have a little some survivors guilt because every time I'd go to the oncologist, I'd see people being treated that were in much worse shape than I was. I'm sure a lot of those people didn't make it. Meanwhile, I probably looked like a picture of health. I remember going to the oncologist for my 5 year check-up. A man, who seemed in rough shape, asked me what I was there for as we checked in. I answered that I was there for a brain tumor. I remember his eyes got real big. I think he felt stricken for me. I think a lot of people assume that brain cancer is automatically the most serious cancer you can have. Which is maybe the case for some, but not for me. I wanted to explain that to him. To tell him, I'm fine, and whatever he was going through was far worse than what I had endured. It was all too complicated though, so I finished checking in and moved on. I been in the waiting room of an oncologist a couple times while survivors swapped war stories forming an impromptu support group. In these situations, I have conflicting feelings of gratitude because my cancer experience did not involve the hardships they've endured, and feelings of being an imposter for the same reason.

It's been 10 years and I very much relate to Suleika's experience of existing in limbo. I'm not really a cancer patient anymore, but I'm not not a cancer patient. Nobody tells you you're cured - you're in remission. I'm still watching and waiting. Waiting for it to come back. There's a date on a calendar every year where I get the MRI that determines whether life goes on or gets interrupted again. It's melodramtic, but there is no certainty. I probably shouldn't give worst case scenario space in mind, but when you view it in binary terms, how can you not mentally prepare for both scenarios?

For a while I was convinced it was a near certainty that the next scan would be the one where the doctor says it's come back.  If you assume the cancer will come back, it leads to nihilism because what's the point of continuing on when it's all going to be taken from you? So I probably did not react to things as well as Suleika or the people in the Suleika's book. I personally struggled to move on. It took me too long to really start moving forward. It was certainly exacerbated by the fact I was a grad student at the time, which is it's own kind of unpleasant limbo. I got stuck in these dual purgatory states and my inability to move on cost me some things that were very dear to me. Some people say no regrets, but I have so many.

People talk about beating cancer. I think at best you can battle it to a draw. Whether you want to admit it or not, it has become a part of you. It may not define you, but it is part your story. Eventually I did start moving forward again, not because I beat the cancer, but because at a certain point I had no choice. The cancer is still there in one form or another.

Melodramatic, I know, but this is really only covers a fraction what the 7 minute Axelrod segment brought up for me. May I should read Suleika Jaouad's book to work through some things. Or maybe I'm still not up for it.

2. Major Garrett

Every time Major Garrett makes a CBS Sunday Morning appearance, it always brings to mind Major Major Major Major from Catch 22. Major is such an odd name. Major Garrett isn't a frequent contributor. He is usually called upon to recap an important news event. Especially one that may have historical significance. Case in point - the second impeachment of Donald Trump. I don't really want to spend much time on this. Why does Major Garrett get the #2 spot if I have no interest in rehashing the impeachment?

1) If the power rankings were based purely on names, Major Garrett is the no brainer #1.

2) Voltaire having a moment:

"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

"Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do."

3. Mark Phillips

Does anyone else get Rachel Weisz and Kate Winslet confused?

It's not quite a Dylan McDermott/Dermot Mulroney situation, but through most of the interview, I kept trying to remember that one actress who I sometimes think is Kate Winslet, but is not. You know, the one in Constantine and who won an Oscan for The Constant Gardener and was nominated for The Favourite. It was Rachel Weisz. Are we sure those aren't movies Kate Winslet was nominated for? She gets nominated for a lot of awards. 

(By the way, The Constant Gardener is a terrible name for a movie. I mean it's a good movie, but how is that not the title of a PBS period drama with super low stakes? My train of thought, once again, derailed.)

The movie Kate Winslet won an Oscar for was The Reader. It's a really good movie about an illiterate Nazi. Boy, does that two word synopsis not do it justice. It's really good in that "I never really want watch that again" sort of way because maybe it's just a little too bleak. She's been nominated for several other performances, maintaining a very high ratio of films made to Oscar nominations. Mark Phillips spends some time discussing with Kate how she doesn't take every role and likes to pick the ones that she finds meaningful. For whatever reason, I feel like I've seen a bunch of Kate Winslet movies, but it turns out I've probably only seen the 5 or 6 everyone else has seen. (I have not seen the Divergent movies.) Maybe I've seen more Rachel Weisz movies than I thought.

For some inexplicable reason, I thought she was in Match Point, but that has neither Kate Winslet nor Rachel Weisz.

After emerging from that rabbit hole, I must note that Mark Phillips is Canadian (more on Canada later) and based in London. He covers all things British for Sunday Morning (except for Downton Abbey - that's Teichner territory) and I get a kick of hearing his grizzled voice and seeing his white beard interview celebrities or cover British TV & Cinema or even discuss the actual royals for that matter. His manner seems more suited for war correspondent, which is why it is just delightful when he gets to do a "puff" piece, e.g. celebrity interview/Sunday Conversation.

4. Rita Braver

Here's the honest truth: I'm not sure what to write about Rita Braver's segment on the first trans woman elected to a state office. 

Spot #1 notwithstanding, I generally try and keep it light, be clever, and crack a few jokes. I don't know how to do that with a story about a trans person. Aside from worrying about striding into Seinfeldian territory, I don't have a personal relationship with a trans person. I just don't know how to discuss their experience. And I'm not a journalist who's had any training on the proper way to go about it. But then maybe it's not really my place. Maybe that the point. It is for them to tell their story. And for others (including myself) to hear and listen. Yet, I'd like to be able to write about a story about a trans person with it being awkward and uncomfortable because I'm not sure what the "rules" are. I realize that my thoughts and feelings on the subject are a secondary consideration here. And this is diversity matters. If you are so unfamiliar with one particular aspect of a person that you cannot focus on anything else, and thus classify a person entirely by that "otherness", you never get to what is below the surface. To close the saccharine oratory - no one wants to be known only by what is on the surface. People want to get to the chewy center of the Tootsie Pop.

Also, more cancer. (For the Valentine's Day episode, this episode pulled no punches.)

5. Trumpeter Swans

I one time made the mistake of calling a swan a goose. Let it be known that geese are not swans. I don't think either bird has a very pleasant disposition. For what it's worth, in high school, I wrote a satirical opinion column for the school newspaper entitled "Radioactive Geese Are Ruining Our Outfield". The gist was that our baseball field's outfield was in shambolic condition (true) and radioactive goose poo was now also turning it into a biohazard (false). I'm not sure everyone "got it" per se, but it still stands up as on of the best things I've written.

Also, I love shots of nature in winter. There is nothing quite like a waterfall in the winter.

6. David Pogue

David Pogue is on a run. Four weeks in a row now. Give the man a break. How many Sunday Morning segments can one man pump out?

What is the best thing this segment? It takes place in Canada! Near the arctic even. I've mentioned I'm fond of Canada, right? Surprising, that I haven't. Although, I did wax rhapsodic about national treasure Christopher Plummer last week.

Anyway, diamonds aren't particularly rare. Nor are they are they particularly interesting in my opinion. They are hard. They have high index of refraction, which is what makes them sparkle. The critical angle is only about 25º. (I taught an intro physics course once upon a time.) As Mr. Pogue points out, their value was pretty much generated by the DeBeer's marketing department. I knew you could grow them artificially, but I hadn't seen the process before. Is there more inherent value in a diamond created via geological process and mined at great cost? Is a diamond grown in a vacuum chamber more of a testament to human ingenuity? I'm genuinely asking. I think knowing a diamond was created by geology makes it more interesting, but I'm not sure of the worth of digging them from the Earth. After all, the earth makes some crazy rocks and minerals. I'm partial to Emeralds because green is my favorite color. Sapphires and rubies are also pretty neat. They are both the same mineral, but I prefer the blue sapphire to the red ruby. You can make lasers out of both - I'm quite familiar with Ti:Sapphire lasers. I don't think people use ruby lasers anymore, but much respect to being the first one. I think I've only heard of amethyst by playing the occasional RPG in days of yore and lands of lore.

7. Mo Rocca

Mo is not here to discuss the general theme of the episode - Valentine's Day. Mo Rocca loves presidental history:

So what do we get from Mo? A travelogue of Presidential gave sites and monuments in honor of President's Day - the true February holiday of romance (at least for Mo). So much of the rest of the show is dedicated to love. Mo brings 2-3 minutes of politics and death to round it out. Based on the color of his hair in some of the photos, some of these trips date back to his Daily Show days. Dig the rhinestone shirt at James K. Polk's grave in Nashville:

 

Aside: I think he mentions Truman's grave in Missouri. Any mention of Harry S. Truman reminds me of Key West, not Missouri. I recommend a visit to the Little White House. And the Hemingway House if you like cats. I'm sure these are not the reasons most people see out Key West. It's a truly unique place. Go if you get the chance.

8. Steve Hartman, Jon LaPook (tie)

And we're back in Canada. Or at least across the border from it. My personal favorite border crossings are Port Huron/Sarnia followed by the Bluewater Ferry from Marine City to Sombra (which no longer runs apparently) and then the Detroit/Windsor crossing. For some reason my friend freaks out a little bit about crossing the border. The Canadian border agents will greet you with, "Hello, Bonjour," in order to distinguish whether you want to converse in English or French. My friend, responded "Bonjour" and then "Sorry, I don't speak French." when the agent started to make their inquiries in French. I thought it was funny.

Hartman's story of cross border (Detroit/Windsor) love interrupted by COVID was pleasant as usual. I'm a killjoy for my thinking more about  the environmental impact of driving from Windsor to Toronto to catch a flight to Detroit than about the reunited couple. C'est la vie.

LaPook is CBS's chief medical correspondent and semi-frequent Sunday Morning contributor. LaPook is a funny name. French for "the Pook". (It's a dumb joke and not original, but LaPook is the son-in-law of Norman Lear, so I hope he'd appreciate it. Or maybe he's heard it enough to be tired of it and would just roll his eyes.) The Pook gives a short commentary on preserving the innocence of children during the pandemic. Fauci innoculates Santa Claus and there is often used clip of Jacinda Ardern classifying the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny as essential workers. The Tooth Fairy gets a lot of play.

If there was a head of state power rankings, is Jacinda Ardern #1?

9. Martha Stewart

As a kid, there were occasional special Saturday Morning breakfasts.  Either pancakes or French toast. My preference was usually for pancakes, but maybe I've never given French toast it's proper respect. After watching Martha Stewart make French toast, I felt like maybe I should learn to make French toast. Well, I want to eat French toast. I just want the money shot of the completed dish at the end of the segment and it did not disappoint. As for making Martha's French Toast myself? Sorry - I'm not going to run out an buy blood oranges to make French toast. Anyone got a simple reciple? (I have a good recipe for pancakes. I could use ones for French Toast and Waffles.)

Also, every time I see Martha Stewart on Sunday Morning or some other talk show, I think to myself, "Remember when she went to jail?" Crazy.

10.  Jane Pauley (Requiem for Sunday Almanac)

Sticking Jane Pauley in the "Martha Teichner did not appear this week" memorial slot is not intended to be a dig at Jane. I feel as bad about putting Jane at 10 as I do about bumping Martha. As the host, Jane is the straw that stirs the drink, as Reggie Jackson so eloquently put it. (Bring me all the Reggie bars!) I couldn't help but notice the bright red dress, worn in honor of the Valentine's day episode one assumes.

Rather, this is a plea to please bring back Sunday Morning Almanac segments. I can't remember the last time they had one. I need to if it was this day in 1872 that Josiah Shuttlesworth Franklin Johnson invented the popcorn corn cart. (Someone fact check that.) Please give me some piece of trivia that I don't need to know, yet very much need to know. Since pandemic life started, I feel like the preoccupation with death has left us only with Sunday Passages and new death toll milestones passed. Isn't there room for both. Last week's Sunday Passage was about Christopher Plummer, so I got to bring up Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country. Here's a favorite scene of mine from that movie (sadly not involving Plummer):

Does it contribute anything to the plot? Tangentially. Do I really care about the etymology of the word "sabotage:? I didn't before, but I do now! I can recite that scene by memory. I love Sunday Almanac for the same reason I love Kim Cattrall (Canadian!) explaining the word sabotages comes from a word for french shoes. Every time the show returns from commercial and I hear Jane Pauley say, "On this day..." I know I'm going to smile a little bit because Jane Pauley is about to bestow up me some wonderful trivia. At the end, I'm going to say, "Huh, ain't that something," and feel a little bit better about life. There were several Valentine's Day themed Sunday Morning Index's (Indecies?). Surely one of those interstitials could be expanded into an Almanac.